Hey, you beautiful human!

I wanted to write a post about my feelings regarding the award I won at the end of 2025. For those who didn’t know, I was granted the 2025 “Inspiration Award” from Centre of Excellence because of my story. It’s about how I went from abuse, sexual assault, mistreatment, and educational neglect in childhood and adolescence to becoming a thriving distance learner through my online university and through other academic platforms, like Centre of Excellence!

Here is what I initially wrote on Instagram and TikTok when receiving the prize:

Still can't believe I won this award by Centre of Excellence called the "Inspiration Award"! I didn't think my story was that interesting... But then I realized that it is actually VERY inspiring to go from a survivor of abuse/trauma AND educational neglect - because of the lack of disability support - to an independent distance learner who THRIVES in their field(s)! In my case, it's philosophy, religious studies, and psychology-related topics. 

I have survived a lot that life has thrown at me. From childhood trauma and every kind of abuse imaginable to ableism because of my disabilities, and adulthood misfortunes like getting RA (rheumatoid arthritis) at only 27 years old... And therefore becoming even more disabled! 

But nonetheless, I'm a lifelong learner, and I will always study and research and write original philosophy! Thank you SO MUCH again, CoE, for awarding me this beautiful trophy and certificate! Yay me! 🏆💖

For those who are wondering, CoE awards students on their course platform (perhaps combined with their university studies, like me!) who deserve this recognition every year… This year, I was chosen, and I still cannot believe it!

Below are some photos:

It’s so awesome that learning is more accessible now.

My award contribution video

To watch the video I applied with for this award, please go to this post: https://trixjoyce.com/supporters/video_embeds/199728 

It’s for members only though (both free and paid)!

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xx

Trix

I've had a little break from my podcast "Late to Bloom" but it will soon be back! Since it has been a while since I last posted I have decided to start by doing this to a new season of the podcast. So now will season 2 come up with its first episode. I'm planning on having it out in the next couple of days.

I look so much forward this season of the podcast. I will also record new episodes of my members-only podcast "The Tee-Jay Show" about DID here on this website!

/Trix

Today I miss my grandma so much. Dad was her only child, so she just had my sister and me. In other words, not so many grandchildren... When I was little, I didn't go to kindergarten or such; I just started regular first grade immediately, since I lived with my grandma instead of having anything else or someone else to look after me. She became like a mother more than a grandmother... And she became old, and she passed away at the age of 94.

At her funeral, they played "Jesu, joy of man's desiring" by JS Bach. It's famous and common to play for either funerals or weddings (depending on the place) for some reason!

I know this song. I made this little recording of me playing it on the piano for my beloved grandma.

My EP "Mysterious Meditations" is scheduled to be released at the end of this month!

You can already listen to it on this link: trixjoyce.hearnow.com

The songs will be available on Spotify, iTunes, YouTube Music, Amazon, Deezer, and all other platforms later, though, so stay tuned!

xx

Trix

The other day, I was really sad when thinking about when I was angry at my younger self. For God sake, she was only a child! I was only little. I don't need yet another person to judge me, so I created this comic instead.

If this is you...

• "I should have done more"
• "I could have been different"
• "If I only...?"
• "I'm worth less than others because (insert reason here)!"

Just know you're VALID to feel, but you're also ALLOWED to move on and find better solutions. If it's something I've learned it's that two things can be true at the same time. You can feel not enough, but still be enough!

I deserved another childhood, but I still got what I got. Both things can be valid at the same time.

When you've spent time with your emotions without judging them, then you will naturally feel when it's time to move on. Just know that you're not just ruminating or "feel sorry for yourself", you have self-compassion. That's different!

I've learned so much these last years. One friend said to me just yesterday that "my world doesn't collapse all the time anymore" and "that I've grown so much". She had tears in her eyes when saying that. And I agree with her. I don't see the world ending as easily any longer. Even though I go through intense emotions just like all of us on this planet.

You are valid, right here and right now.

xx

Trix

October 30, 2025.

Woke up to an old song from childhood

While I many nights I just experience nightmares, this could be a sign of healing, because tonight I dreamt that I was singing for my younger sister and it was this old Swedish song I heard as a kid. It’s like slow-paced and a love song.

”The most beautiful things in the world is to be loved by you” and ”The most beautiful thing to me, is to hear you when you sleeping and are safe with me”. Words like that are a few of the lyrics, kind of roughly translated from Swedish to English.

I woke up right after 7:00AM, even though I normally struggle to wake up on time. And I had this song in my head. So I sat down by the piano and I figured out the melody by ear. And that was thirty minutes ago now. Now I’m sitting here in childlike wonder and thinking about how much music impacts us and how it can take us back to childhood. And sometimes a song from childhood can enter our present time in a dream and really calm our inner children.

My entire nervous system is calmer than it was when I fell asleep. I can see through the window that the morning is soon here and the light is on its way up, even here in our Nordic countries.

I’m listening to my piano song as well as the original song and crying. Tears are flowing down my cheeks. I don’t know why I feel this sentimental.

But I just wanted to share.

xx

Trix

(Original artist for this song is Swedish Cecilia Vennersten, released in 1995)

Welcome to The Tee-Jay Show! We as a DID system is called Tee-Jay. It comes from our host's/body's initials TJ. This podcast is all about Dissociative Identity Disorder, blooming later in life, personal growth in trauma survivors, philosophy and creativity.

To listen to this podcast, you will need to register in any tier to access it. Even the free tier includes the podcast, so nobody is left out! :)

The first recording, the trailer, will be available tomorrow-ish.

Here is the podcast artwork. It features five of us in the Tee-Jay system in drawings, and the host on the photo in the middle. Hope you're going to like it!

xx