The other day, I was really sad when thinking about when I was angry at my younger self. For God sake, she was only a child! I was only little. I don't need yet another person to judge me, so I created this comic instead.

If this is you...

• "I should have done more"
• "I could have been different"
• "If I only...?"
• "I'm worth less than others because (insert reason here)!"

Just know you're VALID to feel, but you're also ALLOWED to move on and find better solutions. If it's something I've learned it's that two things can be true at the same time. You can feel not enough, but still be enough!

I deserved another childhood, but I still got what I got. Both things can be valid at the same time.

When you've spent time with your emotions without judging them, then you will naturally feel when it's time to move on. Just know that you're not just ruminating or "feel sorry for yourself", you have self-compassion. That's different!

I've learned so much these last years. One friend said to me just yesterday that "my world doesn't collapse all the time anymore" and "that I've grown so much". She had tears in her eyes when saying that. And I agree with her. I don't see the world ending as easily any longer. Even though I go through intense emotions just like all of us on this planet.

You are valid, right here and right now.

xx

Trix

October 30, 2025.

Woke up to an old song from childhood

While I many nights I just experience nightmares, this could be a sign of healing, because tonight I dreamt that I was singing for my younger sister and it was this old Swedish song I heard as a kid. It’s like slow-paced and a love song.

”The most beautiful things in the world is to be loved by you” and ”The most beautiful thing to me, is to hear you when you sleeping and are safe with me”. Words like that are a few of the lyrics, kind of roughly translated from Swedish to English.

I woke up right after 7:00AM, even though I normally struggle to wake up on time. And I had this song in my head. So I sat down by the piano and I figured out the melody by ear. And that was thirty minutes ago now. Now I’m sitting here in childlike wonder and thinking about how much music impacts us and how it can take us back to childhood. And sometimes a song from childhood can enter our present time in a dream and really calm our inner children.

My entire nervous system is calmer than it was when I fell asleep. I can see through the window that the morning is soon here and the light is on its way up, even here in our Nordic countries.

I’m listening to my piano song as well as the original song and crying. Tears are flowing down my cheeks. I don’t know why I feel this sentimental.

But I just wanted to share.

xx

Trix

(Original artist for this song is Swedish Cecilia Vennersten, released in 1995)

Welcome to The Tee-Jay Show! We as a DID system is called Tee-Jay. It comes from our host's/body's initials TJ. This podcast is all about Dissociative Identity Disorder, blooming later in life, personal growth in trauma survivors, philosophy and creativity.

To listen to this podcast, you will need to register in any tier to access it. Even the free tier includes the podcast, so nobody is left out! :)

The first recording, the trailer, will be available tomorrow-ish.

Here is the podcast artwork. It features five of us in the Tee-Jay system in drawings, and the host on the photo in the middle. Hope you're going to like it!

xx

Comic by me.

Hey you beautiful human!

This is the first real post I’m creating for this new site. I want to tell you a little bit about how I was thinking and about what I offer here! First of all, this site is from now on my official site. I’ve been looking at many options before I landed on making an everything-in-one option, like a Patreon, merch store, and my own branded website all in one.

About members-only content

On this site I will regularly post members-only content. Most things can be accessed for free, but you will need to sign up. So, what kind of content do I post here? Let me explain below.

Public posts:

• Original philosophy
• Writing projects
• Articles

I treat public posts like public blog posts.

Member’s only posts:

• Audio posts, like my mini podcast “The Tee-Jay Show” but also other audio messages.
• Behind-the-scenes from my life and my creativity.
• Most of the video series, like my “Late Bloomer’s Club” and “Rough Childhood Club,” where I post video episodes about personal growth and overcoming childhood trauma, and more. Here are videos that I don’t post on YouTube.
• You also have access to all posts I make, including secrets I only post for members.
• If you are a paying member you will also get freebies and some video posts that are for paid members only. 

Why most things are free and how paid memberships work

Most perks will be available for free since payment is an option if you want to support my content creation in general. It’s not meant to be “the more you pay, the more you get”, but just a way to support me if you feel like you want to and can afford it. Unlike many other content creators, I’m not here to earn money. My ultimate goal is to help others. 

If you want to support me, that’s great, and I have two affordable support plans available, but remember that these are for general support of my creativity and not mandatory for accessing members’ content!

The reason for this decision is that I don’t think I can maintain a schedule for regularly posting things for different membership groups, and ultimately, I don’t think I will get good at delivering on the promise of getting my content special enough to pay for that regularly.

Creating a community

I aim to create a community around my content creation on YouTube. I also really want to make a difference with my content creation, especially for people with trauma and disabilities.

Making a space to heal

I also treat this website as a place to heal myself by being creative and informative. I want to be a resource for people who need it, maybe those who have gone through things I’ve gone through. I’ve been open on my YouTube channel about my trauma, C-PTSD diagnosis, and even my autism and other disabilities. So you will come across many posts about healing.

A creative outlet

And last, but not least, this will be my creative outlet. Designing merch, art prints, and digital products, but also sharing music and videos, and all the creative things I do.

An online hub!

This is, in a nutshell, ultimately my hub online. I want this to be my main space that I can point people back to! And now it's here. Feel free to explore and browse around.

xx

Trix

Hello!
This is my very first post on my new website. Mostly testing this out, but in the next post I will do something more complete ;)